"Dear Friend" by Micaha Zerod

Dear Friend

By Micaha Zerod

I never told you what I really think

Of how much you mean to me.

My true opinions about what I feel, 

What you feel,

Are left chained and rot,

Until they turned into dust.

The chain links over my heart are 

Brown, oxidized, and crusty

But through all of the love that you’ve given me,

All the times we’ve shared,

They are still there,

Festering, inescapable, and always present

There are no locks

And I have no key.

Throughout life, I was hoping that the mechanisms would be formed,

And through my kinship with you, I would blossom,

Seeking sunlight as if I was a flower

That had alighted on her lover, and had an unbreakable, irreplaceable bond

For the very first time.

Yet, while you seek the sun, growing more beautiful, more complete

With every single second that passes,

I wither in the shade,

Abandoned by hope, trapped by the heavy chains of despair and regret.

Feeling confined, 

A spectral, dead, ghost warning people to return to the right path,

If they wouldn’t want to become me.

Once, I was like you, 

Free, dancing in the light, as if I was floating on gossamer wings

In front of a packed stage,

Where the cheers of the people swelled my pride, 

And for a moment I could feel that we were one.

But life ripped the stage away,

The audience left in droves,

Having figured out the truth behind my disguise, the science behind my magic.

A lone tumbleweed whistled its happy song to me,

Blowing through the empty stands, as if saying,

We are truly alone now.

We are free.

Yet, the truth is, I don’t want to be alone.

I want to be closer to you,

To be like two girls at a slumber party,

Whispering deep into the night,

Telling each other all of their secrets,

Promising to be friends all of their lives.

You are my best friend,

But I feel as if I can’t bare my whole heart to you.

You ask me how I am,

And I reply that I am fine,

Like two people at the grocery store who will never see each other again

Passing a simple greeting.

I’ve always had my Ideals, wishing for a free, more loving society,

But this Truth will stay buried inside of me.

For I know the price of telling the Truth,

For the Truth is calculated, frigid, and breaks friendships asunder.

The Truth can’t be chained forever,

It will always break free somehow.

Backstage, I will always be working on my own escape act.

Only witnessed by me, I will break free of the chains that bind my heart, my friendships, and 

My life.